I’m back! I’m 38! It’s a whole new era!

Okay okay...I know... in the last newsletter when I said “I’m going to be out of the country for the next month” it probably seemed way more exciting and exotic than hopping up to Canada.

But dammit that’s where I was!

And even though Toronto is only a few-hour flight away, there were still sooooo many tasks to do with such short notice before our trip.

Such as:

🌵Getting COVID boosters and flu shots bc nothing is more upsetting than being sick and losing productive days

🌵 Getting real winter coats bc I live in hot ass austin and never really need them

🌵 Getting a hair cut bc my mop was simply outta control

🌵 Getting my bank and my cell provider on board with this whole international operation bc i need them (duh)

🌵 and other small, annoying, but important shit like that, etc.

Here are some pics of some of these things!

And it was all worth the effort because I didn’t know how much I needed this little adventure.

Even though I spent 90% of the trip on my laptop in a hotel room while Brandon was out doing his work projects that took us there in the first place, it was an enlightening month to say the least.

As always, I felt so productive being alone for the long stretches of time.

I thrive by myself.

And it was even better to have been isolated in a place I didn’t know without a vehicle.

That would be a difficult way to live forever, but it was a very cool way to live temporarily.

The lack of options and lack of normal routine forced me to examine what the fuck I even do with myself on a daily basis.

It made me question if I even need to own a vehicle at all.

It made me question why I rent such a big home.

It made me question if I need anything more than a room, a computer, and a gym at all.

Honestly.

While I was there getting shit done and enjoying my wandering brain I was confronted with how small of a life I could actually live.

Brandon and I had some great dinner conversations about all the different paths we could see ourselves taking in the next 1 to 3 years and it was so fucking exciting.

Absolutely nothing compares to the energy created by having something to look forward to.

And oddly enough (odd for me, anyway), I’ve been so looking forward to paring down lately.

In the newly-earned, 38-year-old wisdom I’ve gained since my birthday last month 😉 the idea of shrinking seems nice.

I still consider my overarching life goals to be big, scary and exciting.

But now it’s in a less material, more personal way.

I don’t necessarily want new physical items so much as I want new opportunities and feelings.

ughhhh it sounds hella woo woo.

But I know now, more than ever, that life only gets better as you get older.

You become a more fascinating person in your head if you let yourself meander around up there.

Sure, some problems never go away and you’ll have to work on them for the rest of your life.

But some problems go away not because they’re “solved”, but because you simply decide they’re not a problem anymore.

Like you can just decide the things that mattered so much before simply don’t anymore and POOF! they disappear.

Anyway, this is a lot of rambling just to say that I’ve never been more sure that I’m becoming someone I like more and more every year.

I feel like a better version of myself all the time.

Even though I know the “better” criteria is totally subjective and I’m definitely moving my own goal posts but who tf cares.

Like who else’s goal posts should I have the audacity to rearrange!

And whose should ever matter more than my own!

Okay okay i’m getting annoying….

The point is that I’m ready to talk about this more.

You didn’t peak in high school or college.

You didn’t peak in your 30’s or 40’s or 60’s or whatever.

If you think you did, you can just as easily think you didn’t.

You can find, create, and tell yourself different stories until they’re true.

I’m not sure how I’ll continue processing these thoughts with you, dear reader, but I know I’ll keep trying and sharing so we can figure it out together.

Thanks for hanging ❤️

It’s good to be back :)

xoxo,

AV